After lots of therapy to heal from childhood trauma, I still had depression and anxiety that would creep in often. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD. The anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication I was on helped, but my PTSD would still get triggered easily and I would become very depressed making it difficult to leave my bed and my home to take care of my needs. I had anxiety attacks that sometimes made it hard to breathe.
I heard about microdosing psilocybin mushrooms for emotional healing and had the opportunity to take a microdose amount of a Troubadour Chocolate bar at a Dose and Movement event I enjoyed the shared experience of microdosing at the event, dancing, meditating and connecting with others.
The facilitators helped get me in the right state of mind to get the most out of my experience. On microdose days, I also like to walk in nature, listen to music, dance, create art and journal (solutions to life's problems often come to me while microdosing, due to the plant's medicine clearing the mental clutter from my mind.) I've never experienced psychedelic effects from microdosing, just a happy and content feeling.
After just a week of microdosing, my PTSD didn't get triggered as much. I didn't have anything to talk about with my therapist anymore, but almost booked an appointment 3 weeks after running out of my chocolate bar. As soon as I started microdosing again, I knew microdosing was the permanent solution for me and tapered completely off 200mg of Zoloft a day (the highest dose) I was on for a year and substituted it with this beautiful plant medicine.
Cannabis helped me get through the horrible withdrawals (mood swings, depression, anxiety, irritability, fatigue, digestive pain, intense headaches, body pain and profuse sweating) that lasted approximately two weeks. It can be dangerous to consume too much psilocybin mushrooms when you're on antidepressants, due to 'serotonin syndrome. There are coaches, guides and medical professionals who can help with the transition. I also stopped taking my anti-anxiety medication. Since microdosing, I haven't had any anxiety attacks.
The pharmaceuticals blunted my feelings (which I needed at the time) whereas microdosing helps me feel my feelings and work through them without getting triggered from the past, depressed and wanting to emotionally shut down. My therapist told me I cannot fully heal from trauma unless I feel my feelings and go through the grieving process to process my feelings in a healthy way. Microdosing helps me get through the grieving process.
The brain fog I felt from the pharmaceutical lifted and opened me up to even more healing. The FDA has designated psilocybin mushrooms as a breakthrough therapy/medicine. I definitely agree. Instead of living so much in the past and worrying about my future, I'm able to live in the present and enjoy my life more.
I found that 3-4 squares of the chocolate bar (less than a gram) every 3 days works best for me. I like that the chocolate bars have the amount of milligrams in each square, making it easier to microdose and figure out the right amount for me. Psilocybin mushrooms irritate my tummy a little, so I eat a little scoop of minced ginger to help. I don't like the taste of psilocybin mushrooms and find chocolate is the best way to hide the taste. The chocolate bars are delicious too.
I'm on a mission to tell people about microdosing, because it has helped me so much and I know our world needs a lot of healing. This plant medicine, along with finding the right therapist (for when I needed it), surrounding myself with a great community, music, dance and creating art has given me a new outlook on life.
I had thoughts of suicide many times this past year, because I couldn't find a solution to get out of what I was feeling inside my head that was very hard to live with. I couldn't even get out of my bed to dance, which I love.
With microdosing, I haven't had those thoughts. Life isn't perfect, but it's worth living now. This beautiful plant medicine helped save my life and makes me happier. I want it to do the same for others who are suffering. Heal the people, heal the problems in this world.